legacy & labor

hi baby girl. [that's what my mom called me. i guess it seamed natural to write that to you:]

mama here. wow - seeing that in writing is something else. it's still hard to believe that i get to be your mom. that you are my daughter. i thank Jesus everyday. truly!

you're seven months now. i can hardly believe it. you are growing so fast. every moment with you is so special. it's such a gift. and, i want to document it. i want a place where we can both look back and relive some of the moments. i want a place where you can go someday when you're a mama and hear from me about your childhood.

you see - my mama, your grandma connie passed away before you could meet her. oh how badly i wish you could know her & feel her nurturing embrace. i wish so badly that i had her here to share this incredible journey with. she taught me so much. and, i want to keep her legacy alive by sharing those things with you. 

now that i'm a mama, there are so many days when i want to pick up the phone to call my mom and ask her questions about me as a baby. her thoughts. her dreams for me. or my stages of development. i don't have a baby book or anything to look at where i can read her writing and hear her heart. that's something i want for you. i want you to always have a place where you can see and hear about all the cherished moments of your childhood. 

so let's start from the beginning of you entering this world - your birth! 

on february 8, 2014 at 3 am, i woke up with pretty consistent contractions. the snow was falling outside. and, i just had a feeling you were coming soon. your due date was Feb. 9. the pain wasn't very intense. but, consistent. it was a saturday. your daddy was going to go into work for a couple hours to finish a project. at about 6 am, i told him "i think i'm going into labor today. better make it a quick trip to the office." he did & was back in no time. 

we had plans to go to lunch with papa steve. i told him he better just come over to the house because i was having contractions. so he came over and we ordered lunch from the Ram (papa's treat of course-always!). 

i was keeping our doula, beth, updated. by about 3 pm, she decided it was time to come over. we went labor walking outside. by the time we finished, contractions really started picking up. we went upstairs so i could labor in the bath. just in time for the snowfall to pick up. it was like a dream. laboring in the bath, watching the snow, candle lit and worship music playing. i thought this can't be labor? ummm well, let's just say i was right. it was a little too good to be true. 

we kept dr. taggart updated. by about 6 pm, he suggested we go to the hospital. of course, your papa made it there before we did. the snow had really picked up. they were calling it a late winter snowstorm. of course you'd come during a snowstorm. after all, your daddy did too! 

so there we were on a snowy winter night pulling up to good samaritan hospital in puyallup. as ready as you were to come out, i wasn't dilating fast enough. so we did some labor walking at the hospital. i still wasn't progressing enough so we came home to labor.

because the snowstorm was so bad & not everyone's vehicles were safe enough to drive in the snow, everyone at the hospital with us came back to the house with us. it was your daddy, papa steve, grandma jo, auntie erin (who took photos of your birth) and beth (our doula). it was a labor slumber party!

i went back to labor in the bath. i spent a long time in there. and, as it got later, eventually transferred the bed and back and forth to the medicine ball. i labored all. night. long! with contractions every five minutes. your daddy, erin & beth all took turns helping me manage the contractions. it was a long night for everyone. thank jesus we had the best team by our side.

finally, by about 5 am, i started leaking some fluid and the pain was pretty intense. erin shot a text to dr. t and he said get to the hospital. it was a total home alone moment. someone made the announcement that it was time to go and we all grabbed everything and rushed out of the house.

it was the most beautiful snowy day! and, it was your due date.we got all checked into the hospital. our room had huge windows overlooking the snowy valley. dr. t came in to check on us and let us know he was praying for us, heading to church and would be back later. i thought how much later could it be?

well, baby girl, it was a long day! from the bath. to the bed. to the medicine ball. back to the bath. again and again. i labored all day long with intense contractions. i'll let some of the pictures tell the story. thank you auntie erin for capturing this most incredible day. and, thank you beth for being the best doula ever!

we spent a lot of time in the bath! 

daddy was such a great coach!

i made a labor play list with lots of great worship songs! but, by hour 20 i was so done with that playlist.  then, we tried the "lullaby" pandora music because it has nice calm music. but, when the soundtrack songs came on, it drove me nuts.

labor lemonade from beth! and, freshly painted toes of course, from grandma jo. 

checking stats

still smiling :)

the day got longer and the contractions got more and more intense.

dr t called and asked if he had enough time to go on a run. your dr has quite a personality. and, turns out he did have enough time.

but, then ... they did one last check and it was time for your mama to start pushing. you were ready and so was i. i pushed for two long hours. by that time, i had been in labor almost 40 hours (the first 12 were really light contractions). all i could keep thinking was how close i was to seeing your sweet face. by this time, i was so exhausted and had been in lots of pain for so many hours. what kept me going was saying scripture in my head and out loud "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". i had on my heart to go through labor naturally without any pain medication. later, our dr told us it was a good thing i did because he would have had to take me back for a cesarian hours ago if i had the epidural. my pelvis was very narrow and i wouldn't have been able to push you down the birth canal if i was numb.

 finally, at 7:10 pm, the most miraculous thing happened, you entered this world. i can hardly describe the overwhelming and unbelievable joy felt in the moment that you were placed on my chest. you reached up and held your head up straight out of the womb. you were perfect. i was beginning to understand God's love for us on a completely new level. my heart was so full. and, here are some pictures to tell the story of those first few moments.

i remember having a hard time focusing on your face because mine was so swollen from all the pushing. and, the long hours of labor took their toll. but, i could see how beautiful you were and how much you looked like your daddy :-). the most incredible gift God had given us was here. it was surreal. i'll never forget the look on your daddy's face. he was utterly amazed, so in love and so proud.

daddy praying over us

daddy's first time holding you

washing your little tooshie & head because you pooped a little on mama

we have the best doctor!

"my work here is done" - dr. t

you latched onto nursing right away. it's incredible how you knew just what to do. God made our bodies so intricately. i felt so grateful to be able to nurse and provide you nourishment in that way. it's a beautiful thing.

papa steve was first to come meet you. followed right behind by grandma jo. those two were with us and in the waiting room for over 24 hours. then, came your gpa curt, gg, auntie chicky, auntie emmy and uncle jordan. they were all so amazed by you & kept saying how beautiful and perfect you were.

it had been a long day so some of your family had left the hospital by the time you got here. so the next week and even month, were met with many many family visits from so many people who love you!

and, there we were, our little family of three staying our first night together.