Finding peace with no diagnosis

Test after test after test and still no answer. I have been tested for everything from Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis to an auto immune deficiency, epilepsy, tumors, abnormal cardiac rhythm disturbances, to a form of cancer and now, parasites.

Some days, I feel fine (maybe the normal I've come to know) and others I'm swarmed with symptoms that feel debilitating and defeating. As of lately, these symptoms consist of shooting abdominal pains, weakness, dehydration, digestive issues, cramping and frequent belching, tension headaches, fatigue, malnutrition and occasional neurological symptoms. 

When these symptoms go on for days or weeks at a time, my mind starts to wander and I search for peace in finding a diagnosis. There is truth in what Ann Voskamp says in One Thousand Gifts "When you don't have the name for something, you're haunted by the shadows. But, when God names something, He gives value to it."

It's not wrong to want a name or to be an advocate for my health, but it is wrong when I can't find peace with where God has me and search for the answer to give me peace. I said before that I sometimes feel defeated. The defeat isn't in the illness. The defeat is letting Satan into my thoughts and paralyze me from using my current circumstance to serve and advance the Gospel of Jesus. Jesus has already tasted the defeat and won the battle for me.

When the anxiousness of the unknown rises, I need to remember what James 1:2-3 says, "consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

The bible is FULL of verses about suffering to the glory of God. In fact, scripture guarantees that we WILL suffer. The question is do we suffer well? Unfortunately, too often when trials come, I forget to turn to Jesus for comfort and truth resulting in joy. Instead, when they've gone on for what I feel like is too long, I get anxious and search for the way out. 

While doctors are doing their job, I need to do mine by spending more time in the Word and protecting my thoughts.

As 1 Peter 4:12-13 says, "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed."