We all face trials. But, how do we face them? Do we cover them up? Do we get religious?
I have a confession to make - I've done both. I didn't realize the religious one until last Sunday when our pastor taught on Esther 4. It hit me - I've been religious by trying to add a "but" line of encouragement when someone asks how are you feeling?
( ): How are you feeling since the gall bladder surgery?
Me: Today was a challenging day, but, I know Jesus is using it to teach me perseverance.
Do you see how I use that but line to avoid getting to deep or burdening the person with to much information and to leave the conversation on a good note?
I'm honest in my answer, BUT, there's always a but line, where I have to had something uplifting. Sometimes, it's ok not to have the but line. Sometimes, it's just a hard day, and that's ok.
Jesus had a 'but line'. It wasn't a religious but of "how can I leave this on a positive note and not burden this person" or "how can I keep this at a surface level without going to deep". It was a sorrowful and submissive prayer to the father BUT, AS YOU WILL. Period.
Mathew 26:28 says that Jesus told his disciples that his soul was very sorrowful, even to death. Then, He fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will but as you will."
I need to learn from Jesus...
He got REAL with His disciples.
He cried out to His Father in prayer.
He accepted the Father's will for Him.
The but is to acknowledge that GOD IS SOVEREIGN.
Oh, how I've miss used the but.
My heart is genuine. I really am thankful. I want to give praise to Jesus. And, I really do feel that I don't have grounds to complain when I have so much to be thankful for.
The problem is - sometimes, we (I) just need to get real. All the way real. Just like Jesus did. Otherwise, we don't let people in, we internalize the hardship and miss out on authentic relationships.
I've relearned this so many times. Like, last night, when I cried to my husband about how frustrating it can be to wake up with random symptoms not knowing what's going on in my body or why. Is it things working their way out from the chronically infected gallbladder or is it something else? WHY??? I think I'm better. I feel great. Then, all of a sudden out of nowhere, bam, a kidney stone, or stomach pains, a swollen lymph node, or, or, or. And, sometimes, It drives me crazy to tell people. Because I'm prideful and I don't want to be that girl who talks about health complications. I want to be the uplifting and encouraging one. Reality check-it's not about me.
In Esther 4: 2, it says "He (Mordecai) went up to the entrance of the king’s gate, for no one was allowed to enter the king’s gate clothed in sackcloth.” You can’t be sad before the king. The king only wants good news, not bad news. “Tell me all the victories, not the defeats.”
Don't we do that? I do. Sometimes, I just want to share the victories. If we're only sharing the victories, we're missing the point...
"Whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." -Mathew 10:38-39
It was so refreshing to be real with Garrett about these feelings, pray together and genuinely land at not my will, Jesus, but yours.
There is more joy is saying "not my Will but yours" than understanding the Why because it acknowldeges that God is sovereign and I'm not in control.
So, here's my challenge for you-
Try it. Next time someone asks "How are you doing?", give them a REAL answer. Ok, maybe not the grocery store clerk, I don't think they or the people waiting in line really want to know, haha.
It's interesting, people don't expect a real answer. As Pastor Mark Driscol so aptly stated:
In the west, particularly men, we don’t grieve well. Right? We don’t. In the Bible, it’s a more eastern than a western culture, particularly in the Old Testament. When something bad happens, they let you know, right? They change their clothes, they put ashes on their head, they go out in public, they scream, and cry, and wail. The Psalms, the majority of which are psalms of lament, are words of song and prayer for God’s people to express their grief, and their sadness, and their hardship.
We don’t do that, right? I mean, here’s how we do it in the west: “How are you?” “Fine. How are you?” “Fine.” “We’re both fine. Great. Have a nice life.” And then we each go a separate direction. Meanwhile, he’s getting divorced and she’s got cancer, and they’re “fine.” They’re not fine.
Let's get real. Let's have authentic relationships. Who are those people that you have in your life that you can have authentic and honest conversations with? Who are those people that when you give a surface answer, they love you enough to dig a little deeper?
Then, let our only buts be "but as you will".
No comments:
Post a Comment