A cool conversation with a man named Charles

Charles, a man in his 80s patiently walks along side his wife, Etsuko, of over 50 years, who suffers with Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia. One minute she is fine, the next she yells or wanders aimlessly out of confusion and he takes her hand and calms her down. He takes multiple trips to and from the car to secure his wife into a senior day care three times a week, where she can have a healthy meal, interact with other seniors suffering with Alzheimer's or Dementia, play games, therapeutic exercises, sing etc. While this day care is a good break for the caregivers or husbands, this man never leaves His wife's side! He is right along side her singing and coloring.

What a sweet picture of devotion!?

I have had the privilege of witnessing this in my two years of working at KWA. About a year ago, I started a conversation with this couple after interviewing them for a series of articles I was working on.

One time, Charles came up to my office looking for where he can find diapers for his wife. At that time, he said to me, "I don't know how, if there's a God, he could allow this kind of pain. It's just terrible to watch a beautiful, smart, strong woman fade to this."

Today (about 9 months later), I was sitting in my car on my lunch break reading a book called Disciple. I was feeling a little sick and trying to rejuvenate. I saw Charles walk by and felt the holy spirit lead me to say hi. I felt a little awkward rolling down my car window and yelling out "HI". I had no idea where this was going. But, Jesus did. 

I asked how him and his wife were doing. He told me Etsuko, his wife of 52 years had recently passed away. The sorrow in that man's eyes was heart wrenching. 

I listened as he shared the story. I can hardly recap this Charles's words of love and  to his devotion to his wife. This man's world, his partner, everything he has known, his reason for living, everything he has loved is gone. If this is all there is, we are just left with devastation...

Is this world IT, is it ALL there is?

Over about 45 minutes, there were three questions that framed our conversation.

1. What do have hope in? Charles said he would like to believe he could see his wife again but doesn't think that's possible.
2. Do you believe in God? Charles said it's hard to believe because there's no proof. He pointed up to the sky. I asked, what do you believe about God? He said he doesn't know because there's not enough facts and we can't see. Then, I was able to share with him the story of creation and Jesus dying on the cross, taking on the wrath of God that we deserved for our sins and giving us the gift of eternal life if we trust in Him. I talked to him about the proof in history and the bible. His heart softened, he was intrigued and said he needed to do his research. He shared that it's just so hard to believe because all the trouble you see in the world. 
3. Have you ever thought that we're responsible for the evil? We talked about the fall of man from our first parent's decision to disobey God when they were deceived by Satan. We talked about why we live in a fallen world, where people do evil things and that we're all sinful. Charles was wresting with all the terrible things that happen to innocent people, especially women and children. We talked about how it's hard to comprehend that stuff. Like, why wouldn't God rescue us from this? Which brought up, again, that Jesus did rescue us and gave those who trust in Him new life. But, we still live in a fallen world. Satan is real. And, people make evil sinful choices. We talked about the hope of heaven and that Jesus is coming again.
4. I asked him if I could share my story with Him. As I shared my testimony of how I started a relationship with Jesus three years ago and why I believe in Him, I told Charles that I remember as a child going through hard times and crying out, how could there be a God if He would allow this? I could relate to Charles earlier questions in that way. I explained to Charles that I've learned that Jesus was always there, I was just "blind" and couldn't see Him. I could only see the hurt and pain. I told Charles that it's been through the biggest trials of my life like my mom dying and me experiencing health complications, that I've grown deeper in my faith and my relationship with Jesus, because now I see beyond the hurt and pain. I was honest with Charles that I really miss my Mom, but I know she is with Jesus, I have hope in heaven and I'm thankful for the way Jesus has used those trials to help me grow deeper in my faith and relationship with Him.  

Did I mention that Charles has a hard time hearing? So, I was literally yelling out the Gospel in the middle of the parking lot, HAHA. I'm sure I looked like a complete freak:).

Charles said, "You are genuine, honest and you make me want to learn more". His eyes lit up and he continued that he is going going to do some reading and think about all the hard questions until we talk again. We said goodbye. I remembered that I had given a little booklet titled Who is God? to a co-worker. I ran up and asked if she was finished. Then, I passed it on to Charles. 

I'm praying for Charles to trust in Jesus. That's what we live for!