Decisions, decisions, decisions

 This way. that way. did I choose the right way?

^"And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left."-Isaiah 30:21

Is it really that simple?

You might-like me-think you've gone deaf because you can't hear "this is the way". If we're not staying close enough to our Father's voice, we might not hear it.

Today, I turned to a sticky not I've had on my desk for over a year and there it is...

Jesus voice is in His word. And in His word it says to commit whatever I do to the Lord, and my plans will succeed.

Phew. ok. so, it's not about making a "right" or "wrong" decision.  The question is where is my heart? Am I committing my ways to the Lord? Am I relying on Him or turning to comfort?

In a season of some big decision making, Jesus met me through one of my favorite author's, Ann Voskamp's, blog, a Holy Experience (http://www.aholyexperience.com). Below is some of the text that really spoke to me quoted from her blog.


Am I making any of the right decisions?
I’ve never been here before — so how do I know the way?

You’ve only got one blink of a life to make count for eternity.

It’s only your own sacrifices that show up at your funeral.

Am I making any of the right ones?
When are your sacrifices really just about lining your own nest? What road, what career, what part of the world and is it okay to stay here or is it okay to go and is that even the right question?--
Will I someday be standing with scars to give account before Him that I wasn’t about my own comfort but Christ’s call, that I didn’t make my life about safe living but about dangerous dying, that I didn’t escape into a neat, saved American dream but into a messy, mission-driven God-sized demand.

"Your Dad will call you– and if you can’t hear him? You’re not where you are meant to be.“ Your Father calls you.
And if you can’t hear Him?
Am I making the right decisions?

We want clarity — and God gives a call. We want a road map — and God gives a relationship. We want answers — and God gives His hand.

The whole room, it’s still quiet and holy full and God singularly calls you and a call from God is about relationship and a call is something one keeps listening for — come this way, come to the land I will show you. God didn’t give Abraham a map — He gave Abraham a relationship. He doesn’t want you to lean on a guidebook. God wants you to lean on the Guide — who speaks to you through His Book. Why would God give a map — when He wants to give you Himself?

A career is about the guidebook and a calling is about leaning on the Guide who speaks to you through His Book. A career is about making a plan and a calling is about trusting a Person who changes the plan.  Grace, that careers can fall way to callings.

The call that thing one keeps listening for and the heart of faith is the ear.
This is the way for you — not her way, not their way — but My Way for You.  
I have to stay close enough to the Word to hear my Father’s voice.

Drop the but & get real.

Internalizing hardship will break you. 

We all face trials. But, how do we face them? Do we cover them up? Do we get religious?

I have a confession to make - I've done both. I didn't realize the religious one until last Sunday when our pastor taught on Esther 4. It hit me - I've been religious by trying to add a "but" line of encouragement when someone asks how are you feeling? 

(  ): How are you feeling since the gall bladder surgery? 
Me: Today was a challenging day, but, I know Jesus is using it to teach me perseverance.

Do you see how I use that but line to avoid getting to deep or burdening the person with to much information and to leave the conversation on a good note?

I'm honest in my answer, BUT, there's always a but line, where I have to had something uplifting. Sometimes, it's ok not to have the but line. Sometimes, it's just a hard day, and that's ok. 

Jesus had a 'but line'. It wasn't a religious but of "how can I leave this on a positive note and not burden this person" or "how can I keep this at a surface level without going to deep". It was a sorrowful and submissive prayer to the father BUT, AS YOU WILL. Period. 

Mathew 26:28 says that Jesus told his disciples that his soul was very sorrowful, even to death. Then, He fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will but as you will."  

I need to learn from Jesus...
He got REAL with His disciples.
He cried out to His Father in prayer.
He accepted the Father's will for Him. 

The but is to acknowledge that GOD IS SOVEREIGN. 

Oh, how I've miss used the but.

My heart is genuine. I really am thankful. I want to give praise to Jesus. And, I really do feel that I don't have grounds to complain when I have so much to be thankful for. 

The problem is - sometimes, we (I) just need to get real. All the way real. Just like Jesus did. Otherwise, we don't let people in, we internalize the hardship and miss out on authentic relationships.

I've relearned this so many times. Like, last night, when I cried to my husband about how frustrating it can be to wake up with random symptoms not knowing what's going on in my body or why. Is it things working their way out from the chronically infected gallbladder or is it something else? WHY??? I think I'm better. I feel great. Then, all of a sudden out of nowhere, bam, a kidney stone, or stomach pains, a swollen lymph node, or, or, or. And, sometimes, It drives me crazy to tell people. Because I'm prideful and I don't want to be that girl who talks about health complications. I want to be the uplifting and encouraging one. Reality check-it's not about me. 

In Esther 4: 2, it says "He (Mordecai) went up to the entrance of the king’s gate, for no one was allowed to enter the king’s gate clothed in sackcloth.” You can’t be sad before the king. The king only wants good news, not bad news. “Tell me all the victories, not the defeats.”

Don't we do that? I do. Sometimes, I just want to share the victories. If we're only sharing the victories, we're missing the point...
"Whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." -Mathew 10:38-39

It was so refreshing to be real with Garrett about these feelings, pray together and genuinely land at not my will, Jesus, but yours.

There is more joy is saying "not my Will but yours" than understanding the Why because it acknowldeges that God is sovereign and I'm not in control.

So, here's my challenge for you-

Try it. Next time someone asks "How are you doing?", give them a REAL answer. Ok, maybe not the grocery store clerk, I don't think they or the people waiting in line really want to know, haha.

It's interesting, people don't expect a real answer. As Pastor Mark Driscol so aptly stated:

In the west, particularly men, we don’t grieve well. Right? We don’t. In the Bible, it’s a more eastern than a western culture, particularly in the Old Testament. When something bad happens, they let you know, right? They change their clothes, they put ashes on their head, they go out in public, they scream, and cry, and wail. The Psalms, the majority of which are psalms of lament, are words of song and prayer for God’s people to express their grief, and their sadness, and their hardship.
 
We don’t do that, right? I mean, here’s how we do it in the west: “How are you?” “Fine. How are you?” “Fine.” “We’re both fine. Great. Have a nice life.” And then we each go a separate direction. Meanwhile, he’s getting divorced and she’s got cancer, and they’re “fine.” They’re not fine.

Let's get real. Let's have authentic relationships. Who are those people that you have in your life that you can have authentic and honest conversations with? Who are those people that when you give a surface answer, they love you enough to dig a little deeper?

Then, let our only buts be "but as you will".

A cool conversation with a man named Charles

Charles, a man in his 80s patiently walks along side his wife, Etsuko, of over 50 years, who suffers with Alzheimer's Disease and Dementia. One minute she is fine, the next she yells or wanders aimlessly out of confusion and he takes her hand and calms her down. He takes multiple trips to and from the car to secure his wife into a senior day care three times a week, where she can have a healthy meal, interact with other seniors suffering with Alzheimer's or Dementia, play games, therapeutic exercises, sing etc. While this day care is a good break for the caregivers or husbands, this man never leaves His wife's side! He is right along side her singing and coloring.

What a sweet picture of devotion!?

I have had the privilege of witnessing this in my two years of working at KWA. About a year ago, I started a conversation with this couple after interviewing them for a series of articles I was working on.

One time, Charles came up to my office looking for where he can find diapers for his wife. At that time, he said to me, "I don't know how, if there's a God, he could allow this kind of pain. It's just terrible to watch a beautiful, smart, strong woman fade to this."

Today (about 9 months later), I was sitting in my car on my lunch break reading a book called Disciple. I was feeling a little sick and trying to rejuvenate. I saw Charles walk by and felt the holy spirit lead me to say hi. I felt a little awkward rolling down my car window and yelling out "HI". I had no idea where this was going. But, Jesus did. 

I asked how him and his wife were doing. He told me Etsuko, his wife of 52 years had recently passed away. The sorrow in that man's eyes was heart wrenching. 

I listened as he shared the story. I can hardly recap this Charles's words of love and  to his devotion to his wife. This man's world, his partner, everything he has known, his reason for living, everything he has loved is gone. If this is all there is, we are just left with devastation...

Is this world IT, is it ALL there is?

Over about 45 minutes, there were three questions that framed our conversation.

1. What do have hope in? Charles said he would like to believe he could see his wife again but doesn't think that's possible.
2. Do you believe in God? Charles said it's hard to believe because there's no proof. He pointed up to the sky. I asked, what do you believe about God? He said he doesn't know because there's not enough facts and we can't see. Then, I was able to share with him the story of creation and Jesus dying on the cross, taking on the wrath of God that we deserved for our sins and giving us the gift of eternal life if we trust in Him. I talked to him about the proof in history and the bible. His heart softened, he was intrigued and said he needed to do his research. He shared that it's just so hard to believe because all the trouble you see in the world. 
3. Have you ever thought that we're responsible for the evil? We talked about the fall of man from our first parent's decision to disobey God when they were deceived by Satan. We talked about why we live in a fallen world, where people do evil things and that we're all sinful. Charles was wresting with all the terrible things that happen to innocent people, especially women and children. We talked about how it's hard to comprehend that stuff. Like, why wouldn't God rescue us from this? Which brought up, again, that Jesus did rescue us and gave those who trust in Him new life. But, we still live in a fallen world. Satan is real. And, people make evil sinful choices. We talked about the hope of heaven and that Jesus is coming again.
4. I asked him if I could share my story with Him. As I shared my testimony of how I started a relationship with Jesus three years ago and why I believe in Him, I told Charles that I remember as a child going through hard times and crying out, how could there be a God if He would allow this? I could relate to Charles earlier questions in that way. I explained to Charles that I've learned that Jesus was always there, I was just "blind" and couldn't see Him. I could only see the hurt and pain. I told Charles that it's been through the biggest trials of my life like my mom dying and me experiencing health complications, that I've grown deeper in my faith and my relationship with Jesus, because now I see beyond the hurt and pain. I was honest with Charles that I really miss my Mom, but I know she is with Jesus, I have hope in heaven and I'm thankful for the way Jesus has used those trials to help me grow deeper in my faith and relationship with Him.  

Did I mention that Charles has a hard time hearing? So, I was literally yelling out the Gospel in the middle of the parking lot, HAHA. I'm sure I looked like a complete freak:).

Charles said, "You are genuine, honest and you make me want to learn more". His eyes lit up and he continued that he is going going to do some reading and think about all the hard questions until we talk again. We said goodbye. I remembered that I had given a little booklet titled Who is God? to a co-worker. I ran up and asked if she was finished. Then, I passed it on to Charles. 

I'm praying for Charles to trust in Jesus. That's what we live for!

Be Content

Be content in all circumstances. 

Ok, that's easy enough. Not. Going on nine months of being sick, and the "be content" thing can get pretty challenging. But, thankfully it's not for Jesus. And, by His Grace He is continually reminding me and empowering me to be content in ALL circumstances. 

One way He reminds me of this is through Paul. Paul says,

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through him who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:11-12

Be content in whatever situation, whether hunger, plenty or need. How can this be done? Only through Christ.

After a refreshing conversation with my great friend Kalle Wagner, who has had health complications, I was reminded again to be content. Kalle shared with me a good word that someone shared with her. She said instead of trying to figure it all out and fix everything, what would it look like to just accept them and live? 

Profound. 

What a freedom there is in that? Accept my circumstances and live. (Sigh of relief) I guess it's time to let myself in on a little secret, I cannot fix this. It is not up to me. It may never be "fixed". And, that's OK. To try and figure it out and be anxious about it is wasted energy. Philippians 4:6 says do not be anxious about ANYTHING. Nada, zilch, zero. 

So, what was my first response when I got a call from my doctor this afternoon telling me that to try and treat my non-functioning gall bladder, they are putting me on a one month treatment and if it doesn't work, they are going to surgically remove the gall bladder, which gives me a 60/40 chance of getting better? Hm, well, I got a little anxious at first. But, after remembering to abide in Jesus, I'm actually feeling thankful. I'm thankful to know that God is sovereign over all. I'm thankful that my doctors are giving everything a chance before pulling out my organ. And, I'm thankful that Jesus is teaching me how to be content in all circumstances and that I can do ALL things through Him who strengthens me.

Sorrowful, meet rejoicing

What trial are you in right now and how do you feel about it? 

This was such a refreshing question I came upon this morning as I was listening to a sermon called "trial and Jesus" from Spring of 2009 by Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church. "Give yourself permission to feel," Pastor Driscoll, said.  This was a good reminder for me. I'm one who will hide behind scripture like fig leaves, as Adam and Eve did. That can easily become denial and lead to a fake face. Rejoicing doesn't mean not feeling. As the below scripture indicates, when you're in trial, it's OK to grieve. I have to remind myself of this.

"In this you REJOICE, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been GRIEVED by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." -1 Peter 1:6-7.

So, grieving but rejoicing, how does that work?

Shortly after my mom died in 2010, I kept coming across the verse "as sorrowful, yet, always rejoicing" -2 Corinthians 6:10. I remember really wrestling with this, how can be sorrowful AND rejoice? It felt like some days were filled with just sorrow and others, just rejoicing. I couldn't find the balance and relationship between the two. Sorrow and rejoice were separate for me. Yet, scripture describes them in relationship with each other "sorrowful, yet ALWAYS rejoicing". Overtime, as I allowed these two to separate more and more, I found myself either not thinking about my mom or, focusing just on good memories and when I started to feel sorrow, I would try to escape it with the memories or hide behind scripture to avoid feeling the sorrow. I was seeking to rejoice in circumstances, rather than in God.

And, now, we meet again. Good ol sorrow and rejoice. 

Two years later and I'm still wresting with sorrowful and rejoicing. But, the more unpack it, the more I find peace in my circumstances by rejoicing in God.

Life is full of trial and it's OK to be grieved. "Jesus doesn't fix everything but he walks with us through it, said Driscoll." Also, it's important to remember we have a God who knows, understands and has felt our trials.

In walking through this health trial, sometimes I find myself doing the same thing I did with grieving. The danger in separating sorrowful and rejoicing is first, denial, second, not being honest or letting people in on our suffering, third, turning a trial into self pity instead of a time to rejoice or fourth, a temporary rejoicing in circumstances. Let me unpack this. 

Give yourself permission to feel. Any numbing agent will eventually wear off. The mask won't fit forever. Be authentic. Ask yourself, how do I feel about this current trial? Be honest with your community and let people in to walk through it with you. Remember that without rejoicing, sorrow, becomes self pity. Don't seek to just rejoice in the circumstance. For example, It's not bad to rejoice in good days when I don't feel sick, I should rejoice in that. It's not bad to rejoice in good memories with my mom. I should also rejoice in that as well. But, the everlasting kind of rejoicing where it can meet sorrow right in the middle is rejoicing in Jesus, rejoicing in heaven, rejoicing in Hope, rejoicing that it was finished on the cross, rejoicing that though we are tested by fire, our faith is being refined as more precious than gold. 

REJOICE, not in circumstance, REJOICE in Jesus. That is where sorrow and rejoice meet. 

As Paul says in the above verse, "You have been grieved by various trials". So, grieved is how we feel, so what do we DO? "In this you rejoice," But, how? 

With praise, glory, honor, rejoice with joy (not faking, avoiding, escaping or pretending), not in your circumstances but rejoice in God because that which is most important to you has been given to you as a gift.

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" Romans 6:23.

But, why do we rejoice, even in trial?

1. because God's mercy. 
2. because we've been born again and given new life.
3. for a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
4. because we have an inheritance that is nonperishable, unfailing and undefiled. If you respond rightly in trial, you are storing up treasures in heaven. 
5. because home is kept in heaven. And, our Salvation is secured and guarded by God. 
6. because our trial is just for "little while".  
7. because trial purifies our faith. Like gold, when heated impurities rise to the top which purifies and refines the gold. Sanctification is what happens after the heat of trial exposes the impurity of our life to make our faith more precious and more pure.

Rejoice in the results of the trial. 

 

Some material from: http://marshill.com/media/trial/trial-and-jesus#scripture

Praise and Prayer

A few weeks ago my husband asked me, "what is your dream day"? I love questions like this.

Without planning or really realizing that we were creating this day, this past weekend, we had a dream day! On Saturday morning, we let our bodies naturally wake up. Okay, Okay, I let my body naturally wake up the the glare of the beautiful sun in our window and then eagerly woke my husband like it was Christmas morning. If I would have let the boy sleep, he would have the entire day:). 

We enjoyed a restful morning in our new home with our favorite Sleeping Monk coffee and playing with our dog in the yard. Then, got ready for a little adventure. We packed up bikes and headed up to Woodenville Wine Country, where we did wine tasting, sat on the lawn for lunch and went bike riding along the river. I see why we used to ride bikes so much as kids. Why did we ever stop? We had such a great time and laughed, a lot! We polished the day by making a great meal with crab legs, fish, sweet potatoes, zucchini and corn on the cob.

All together, from start to finish, it was an awesome day! I felt so blessed to have this time with my husband.

It felt like the Lord new we needed that day and gave it to us as a gift. In our season of engagement, a wise pastor advised Garrett and I to commit to the first year of our marriage as our ministry and to really spend time investing in each other with face to face time. Of course, He acknowledged that this is a lifelong thing but very important focus to have in our first year building the groundwork for our ministry of marriage. We are continually learning more about what this looks like to balance time with the Lord, each other, our community, our families, in service and work. 

My praise is for great time with my husband and Jesus meeting us right where we are, "For such a time as this..."

My prayer is for our eyes to remain steadfastly to Christ and our ears to listen to Him as we endure health trials. This week I had an endoscopy. The doc took some biopsies but at first sight, everything in the stomach looked good. Next week, I'll have a HIDA test to look at my gallbladder. The location of the right side abdominal pain paired with movement of sharp pains to the lower back and upper shoulder blade, nauseousness, an elevated liver count and digestive complications has the doctor concerned about the gallbladder. 

"And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your teacher." Isaiah 30:20

In sickness and in health

A wedding vow we've all come to know. But, how do we respond when our spouse gets ill?

Just a few months into being married, I started experiencing health complications that have continued now for seven months. Through this, I've come to realize more about Jesus and more about the awesome husband He has given me. 

"Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance" James 1:2-3  

 

I'm so grateful for Garrett's selfless support, sacrificial love, understanding, grace, forgiveness and sensitivity that model Jesus and lead me to praise. Not that I idolize my husband, but I'm so thankful for Him.

We are both continually learning about what it means to love well in sickness and in health. I'm learning how to be vulnerable with Garrett and honest in my weakness, and together we are learning to rely on Jesus as our sole provider, healer and comforter, but allow Him to love us through each other.

"For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison"-2 Corinthians 4:17.

Though my husband and our marriage makes me VERY happy, I love what Gary Thomas writes in Sacred Marriage, "What if God made marriage to make us more holy than happy?"

Through this season of trials, we are learning,

• To live each day with complete reliance on the Lord, trusting in Him to direct our steps. 
• To live in unity with one another.
• To embrace sacred moments and laugh a lot.
• To be honest in our suffering. 
• To appreciate our differences. 
• Not to fear. 
• To serve one another. 
• To accept our circumstances. 
• How God loves us through community. 
• To pray, A lot.

"Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God."- 1 Peter 4:1-2 

Attitude of Gratitude

When we give thanks, we change, For Jesus' glory and our good.

When we give thanks, we make much of our Savior, rather than making much of ourselves. 

When we give thanks, we slow down, taste life and see God! 

When we give thanks, we receive joy. 
When we give thanks, we receive peace.
When we give thanks, we accept our circumstances. 
When we give thanks, we resist the feelings of entitlement to something different.
When we give thanks, we're humbled. 
When we give thanks, we accept His grace.
When we give thanks, we put an end to jealously.
When we give thanks, we stop coveting. 
When we give thanks, we surrender control.
When we give thanks, we rejoice.
When we give thanks, we glorify Jesus. 
When we give thanks, we recognize our sin, understand the penalty of our sin and realize that we do not deserve more, that we've been given much and it's all a gift from our loving father. 

When we give thanks, treasure moments and enjoy life.   

When we give thanks, our hears are stirred to good works, out of gratitude for all that we've been given. 

When we give thanks, we turn from selfishness to servant-hood.

When we give thanks, we tell Jesus that the cross was enough.

For each day, give thanks.

For every circumstance, give thanks.

For every sound of laughter, give thanks. 

For every sight, sound and smell of our Creator's creation, give thanks. 

For every moment with the ones you love, give thanks. 

For every opportunity to share God's love, give thanks.

For the wisdom & love shared from our parents and grandparents, give thanks. 

For every child, give thanks. 

For each day you wake up next to your best friend, give thanks. 

For ten fingers and ten toes, give thanks. 

For trials, give thanks.

For each meal, give thanks. 

For every moment under the sun, give thanks. 

For our father's unchanging, unfailing, selfless and sacrificial love, give thanks.

For our forgiven sins, give thanks.

For his mercies are new each morning, give thanks! 

For today is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad it it.

Let us slow down, taste life and see God.

It's no wonder Jesus tells us to be thankful, It's for His Glory and our Good. Here are just a few verses on thankfulness:

1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Psalm 107:1 Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

Romans 1:21 For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Ephesians 5:20 Giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

2 Corinthians 9:15 Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Psalm 105:1 Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples!

Psalm 106:1 Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

Colossians 3:15 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 

Isaiah 12:4-5 And you will say in that day: “Give thanks to the Lord, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the peoples, proclaim that his name is exalted. “Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously; let this be made known in all the earth.  

Colossians 3:15-17 And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Romans 5:1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

 

 The above picture is a part of my Euchoristo project, writing or sharing through photos, "gifts" or things I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for my husband and best friend. I'm thankful for our fun adventures together. I'm thankful for beautiful mountainscapes and breathtaking Mt. Rainier!

Do not fear & Perservere!

For those of you who have been praying for my health, thank you! Here's an update.

The parasite is gone! Praise God. I'm currently on a three month treatment for small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO), which I may have had before the parasite. Since ridding my body of the parasite and starting this SIBO treatment, we are seeing improvements. With some symptoms persisting, my doctor's have agreed that they need to take a closer look at my small intestine to ensure there is no blockage or anything else.

Today, I scheduled the capsule endoscopy for Monday, April 30 at 7:15 a.m. This procedure consists of a wireless camera in the form of a pill that takes pictures of my digestive tract (areas in the small intestine that their not able to see with any other testing). A belt with a recording machine is strapped to my waist and will record the pictures. Can you believe technology? Crazy. The first part of the procedure is done at the doctor's office and for the second, I go home for 8 hours to rest then return to have everything unhooked. The day before the procedure (Sunday), the doctor said I need to fast. 

A praise is that insurance is covering this test completely.

Prayer requests are that I rely on the Lord for strength with the fasting, that there are no difficulties in the procedure (such as the camera getting stuck-this is rare but can happen if there's an obstruction) and that if there's another problem, this test reveals it. And, please pray that I'm not anxious, do not fear, persevere, keep my eyes on Jesus and that He is glorified through this.

At our church, Mars Hill, this week's sermon was timely on fear. I needed to hear it, repent of it, and keep repenting of it. Fear can manifest itself in so many ways. Here is some of the transcript from Pastor Mark Driscoll that stood out to me.

What do you fear? What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of conflict? Are you afraid of what you perceive to be failure? Are you afraid of poverty or suffering? Are you afraid of criticism or opposition? Are you afraid of death?

How do you respond to fear? The doctors tell us, usually, it’s fight, flight, or fright. Some of you are like,“Yeah, I’m afraid, so I’m going to fight and win!” Others of you, “I’m scared, and gonna run, avoid all potential conflict or failure.” Others of you, it’s fright. You’re just panicked. You don’t know what to do. You’re just stuck.

Fear in the mind leads to stress in the body. It’s why the number one category of prescription medication in the US is antidepressants. People are anxious. They’re stressed out. This is where you start getting the nervous eye twitch, the canker sore. This is where you can’t sleep. This is where you start having heart problems or stomach problems. This is where you start self-medicating with caffeine, junk food, energy drinks, gambling, sex, alcohol, whatever it might be.

How’s it going? Who are you afraid of? What are you afraid of? How are you responding? What are you doing? 

Fear is not to be accepted. Fear is not to be accommodated. Fear is not to be explained. Fear is a sin to be repented of. Fear of anything or anyone, other than God, is a sin to be repented of, because the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.=

Number one: Fear is an attempt at sovereignty. “I see and know all, and I’m freaked out.” You don’t see and know all.

Number two: Fear is vision without God. “I see the future. God’s not in it. God’s not for me. God’s not going to help me.”

Number three: Fear turns us into false prophets. “Oh, I’ve seen the future, and it’s horrendous.”

And number four: Fear preaches a false gospel. “Oh, there’s a hell out there: I’ll be single, I’ll be broke, I’ll be sick, I’ll be suffering, I’ll be struggling, all the things that John is enduring. So, there’s that hell, that functional, false, fearful hell, and then to get out of it, I need a false, functional savior. So, I need to hold onto my money. I need to control my life. I need to remove myself from community. I need to rebel against authority. I need to sin. I need to self-medicate. I need to self-justify. I need to turn Jesus into a therapist, so I can be glorified. And then I can live in this view of heaven before the resurrection, that I have in my imagination.”

And it’s all a false gospel. Heaven is out there. It’s the kingdom of God. It’s the resurrection of the dead. Between here and then is tribulation. And if you have a false view of hell and a false savior, you’ll end up saying and doing things whereby you’re worshiping someone or something to be your functional, false savior, deliverer, to make your future better, which just means you’re trying to be God! You’re trying to control the future, bless yourself, and create a heaven of comfort, convenience, that has no place for Christ, and it’s fear.

So, what do you think the number one command is in the whole Bible? “Fear not!” Roughly 150 times, it says, “Fear not.”

 Some occasions in scripture:

Adam in Genesis 3 says, “I was afraid.” And then what? God comes near. God comes to be with him in his fear.

Abraham in Genesis 15:1, God says, “Do not be afraid Abraham [or Abram] I am your shield.” “I’m here to protect you.”

We read of Isaac in Genesis 26:24. God says, “I am the God of your father Abraham. Do not be afraid, for I am with you.”

God says to Jacob in Genesis 28:15, “I am with you.”

Moses was afraid in Exodus 33:14, and God says, quote, “My presence will go with you.”

Elijah is on a battlefield, a time to fear. God says to him in 2 Kings 1:15, “Do not be afraid.”

David says it well and legendary, Psalm 23:4, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear not, for thou art with me.”

King Jehoshaphat on the eve of war in 2 Chronicles 20:17, we read, “Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you.”

Isaiah 41:14, “Do not be afraid,” God says, “you worm Jacob.” Any of you realize that a worm is not really a warrior kind of created thing? A worm doesn’t defend itself. “Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob, little Israel. Do not fear, for I myself will help you.”

Jeremiah 1:8, Jeremiah has got a hard life as a prophet. God says, “Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you.”

Daniel 10:12, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. I have come.”

Haggai 2:4–5, God says it three times. “Be strong! Be strong! Be strong, for I am with you, declares the Lord Almighty.”

And Jesus’ final words in Matthew 28:20, he says, “I am with you always to the very end of the age.” Don’t be afraid. Persevere in Jesus. Worship Jesus. Serve Jesus’ church. Give to Jesus’ church. Do not be afraid. You say, “Why? Because it’s all going to be fine?” I didn’t say that. “Because it’ll all get better?” I’m not promising that. Because Jesus is with you. And in that way, our life is not tribulation-free, but it is tribulation-proof.

 *Content in italicized from http://marshill.com/media/the-seven/a-message-to-seven-churches#transcript

A huge burp!

As I was sitting in my doctor's office this morning, I let out a huge burp. I mean, that no holding back loud kind of burp that there's just no way to politely release. Both of my doctor's and I started cracking up laughing. One replied, "that was awesome!" It felt pretty awesome too. Isn't it such a relieving feeling when you let out a nice burp?

That's the kind of relief I'm feeling right now, as I'm reminded that I don't have to carry the burden of this illness. Jesus has already done that!

"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Mathew 11:30

My role is to accept it, seek Him fully, walk through it and watch in utter amazement as He uses it. After being treated for having a parasite, today, we found out that I have small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (SIBO) and inflammation. I've started some natural supplements to support and repair intestinal and pancreatic processes paired with probiotics. Additionally, I'm starting a three month antibiotic treatment to kill bacteria overgrowth. It's unknown what may have caused this. It could be as a result of the parasite. Or, it could have been the initial problem that made me an easy host of the parasite and prevented my body from fighting it on it's own. Either way, I'm accepting it and learning that healing is a process, sometimes a very looonng process. As I follow this treatment plan, I will have regular doctor's appointments and continued testing to rule out other things. I'm learning it's not always as simple as getting tests, a diagnosis and treatment. It's really one day, one step at a time. 

"I'm going to live for today. I'm going to follow in your ways. I'm going to let my little light shine like there's no tomorrow. I won't worry about the past. I know my future is intact. You told me not to worry about what lies ahead. So, I'm going to focus on today instead, making every moment count and counting every blessing" -Natalie Grant, Live For Today

For me, living for today starts with living a life of thankfulness. I'm going to start a "eucharisto" project inspired by the book One Thousand Gifts - A dare to live fully right where you are by Ann Voskamp. I'm going to share 1,000 "gifts" or things I'm thankful for by writing them out or by taking a photo. 

Next, living for today starts with remembering why I'm here...which Jesus makes pretty clear. Jesus came as my rescuer, took my place on the cross and died the painful death I should have died for my sins. Then, he rose, three days later, conquering sin and death and promised to give me the free gift of eternal life if I trust in Him.

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:23

And, all I have to do is trust in Him? What kind of a love is this!? When I saw and understood the depth of my sin and trusted in Him, He gave me new life and saved me from the eternal wrath and torment I deserved. Such a selfless undeserved love is hard to comprehend or understand. But, I get to live my life out in response to this with thanks by being on mission for His Great Commission!

"And Jesus came and said to them, All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Mathew 28:18-20

Take Heart!

After a puzzling conversation with the doctor this afternoon, I'm reminded to take heart, be strong and courageous!

When I received the parasite diagnosis, I was told several times that it might not be the core problem. The doctor's reasoning for this was that my body should have been able to fight the particular parasite I had on it's own. Also, it's easily transmitted to a host with an illness of some type. I accepted that but decided to take it one step at a time. After ten days of antibiotic treatment, my doctor pulled me off the medication as it was worsening symptoms and causing side effects.

Without the 2,500 mg of antibiotics circulating through my system, I'm feeling much better! Though still having symptoms, they are not magnified by medication.

Today, my GI doctor revisited the "I'm not confident that the parasite was/is the problem". He is referring me to see another specialist for second opinion and more testing. The next step is to look into the small intestine, which can be a complex process. Tomorrow, I will go to see my natropath/doctor in Mount Lake Terrace for another follow up.

Initially after talking to my GI doc, it felt like the entire process was starting over again. Rushing thoughts of fear and frustration came and went quickly. After a breath of fresh air and being honest with my friend Susie about those feelings, I held those thoughts captive and felt strongly that I was ready ... I'm ready to to fight whatever this is or put to rest whatever it was! Two verses immediately came to my mind:
John 16:33, "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." and, Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” 

Today, I'm going to take heart by enjoying today for today. I'm looking forward to going on a run when I get home from work tonight. I love running! Life is too fleeting to wait for the storm to pass. 

Thankful for a parasite??

I had no idea what people go through who are exposed to contamination and infectious disease until I experienced it myself.

Did you know that over a billion people worldwide don't have access to clean drinking water?  Approximately half of this vulnerable population is made up of children. This was the introduction to my 2010 support letter for a mission trip to Senegal, West Africa to help replace a failing water pump.

Monday, March 19, 2012, after two years of undiagnosed health complications, I received a call from my doctor diagnosing me with a parasite. This particular parasite is transmitted through contaminated food and water in underdeveloped areas. It is likely that I was infected on a mission trip to Senegal. 

I feel that it's important to note that people are infected with parasites all over the world. Some parasitic diseases can even happen in the United States. I hope that anyone reading this will not fear traveling to other nations as infection and sickness can happen anywhere.

In 2011, four new fountains were input for the
Farar villagers from our fundraising project

We went on this vision mission to Senegal, West Africa to understand the need of Farar villagers. The need was to help these villagers with one of their most basic human needs: fresh water. We left with an understanding that led to a mission to raise funds that would add four fountains to serve the Farar village with drinking water. Understanding the need meant going to SEE. Today, I can FEEL the need with empathy having experienced to some degree the sickness of those infected with a parasite from contaminated food or water. I, however, have access to treatment. Many of those who are infected in undeveloped areas do not.

We all see the commercials and see the pictures asking us to donate to these highly affected areas. Often times, our response is one of the following: denial or desensitize by turning the channel so we don't have to face or feel the reality of their suffering. We much prefer to live in our insulated bubble. Our other response is it must be a scam, where's my money really going? Or, the one I most guilty of, this is such a huge and overwhelming problem, how is my $30 going to make a difference? I'm sharing my story with hope that you won't be paralyzed by these thoughts anymore and will see that anything can help! www.worldvision.org is a great resource to learn about the needs and how you can give. Visit The Clean Water Fund to donate $25.

For the past two years, off and on, especially over the last five months, I have been very sick. Multiple trips to the ER and a several trips to the doctors running test after test, from neurological, cardiac to digestive, trying to find the cause of all my sickening symptoms, showed us very little. All we knew was that I was malnourished, I had an occasional drop in my blood pressure and jump in my white blood cell count. You can see a list with some of my symptoms in the below post titled "trust me". It's been a journey. On Monday, when I got the call with a diagnosis of a parasite, I was relieved. In fact, I repeatedly thanked the doctor. Then, when I got off the phone "thank you, Jesus, thank you, Jesus, thank you, Jesus!"

A couple doctors have told me that they are not entirely confident that this is all that's going on because a lot of times these parasites are hosted in an already weakened system or they can be the cause other issues. But, I'm hopeful that this is it.

Though this treatment is intense with over 2,500 mg of antibiotics per day that are making me feel very sick, I'm thankful. I'm thankful that I have access to this treatment. I can't imagine what it's like for those who are infected and do not have the resources they need for healing. Yesterday, I received an IV to start replenishing all the vitamins and nutrients I've lost from this parasite. Because my body has gone without this nourishment for so long, it was a system overload. Additionally, the parasite is releasing toxins into me that are also making me feel very ill. 

Despite all of this, in a weird way, I'm thankful for this parasite. This illness has helped shaped who I am today. I would never have the empathy I do today for underdeveloped areas highly affected by infectious disease. I'm excited to see how God wants to use this empathy to help others. Through this process, I've learned that joy is possible in the midst of suffering through thanksgiving. I've learned how important it is to not get bound in fear. I've learned that doctors are humans, not saviors. I made an idol out of my doctors. I kept relying on my doctors to give me an answer, that would give me rest. My trust in Jesus wasn't enough. When doctors couldn't give me a diagnosis my thought was "I knew I couldn't trust them". I went into all of this with a deep rooted distrust of doctors. I had to ask forgiveness for this yesterday from my doctor. At the same time, she asked me for forgiveness as they did not find this sooner and did not know what to do with me. I've learned how to ask for help. And, I've been reminded of how important it is to not suppress things, but to peel back the mask and get real. Sometimes, this sickness really sucks. When people ask how I'm doing, my first instinct is to put on a happy face and blurt out some hyper-spiritual remark like "God has a plan". That's true and all, but sometimes it just hurts. Sometimes, we have to let people in on our sufferings by being real and asking for help.

Here I am back to my favorite verse: "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28.

Finding peace with no diagnosis

Test after test after test and still no answer. I have been tested for everything from Crohn's Disease or Ulcerative Colitis to an auto immune deficiency, epilepsy, tumors, abnormal cardiac rhythm disturbances, to a form of cancer and now, parasites.

Some days, I feel fine (maybe the normal I've come to know) and others I'm swarmed with symptoms that feel debilitating and defeating. As of lately, these symptoms consist of shooting abdominal pains, weakness, dehydration, digestive issues, cramping and frequent belching, tension headaches, fatigue, malnutrition and occasional neurological symptoms. 

When these symptoms go on for days or weeks at a time, my mind starts to wander and I search for peace in finding a diagnosis. There is truth in what Ann Voskamp says in One Thousand Gifts "When you don't have the name for something, you're haunted by the shadows. But, when God names something, He gives value to it."

It's not wrong to want a name or to be an advocate for my health, but it is wrong when I can't find peace with where God has me and search for the answer to give me peace. I said before that I sometimes feel defeated. The defeat isn't in the illness. The defeat is letting Satan into my thoughts and paralyze me from using my current circumstance to serve and advance the Gospel of Jesus. Jesus has already tasted the defeat and won the battle for me.

When the anxiousness of the unknown rises, I need to remember what James 1:2-3 says, "consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance."

The bible is FULL of verses about suffering to the glory of God. In fact, scripture guarantees that we WILL suffer. The question is do we suffer well? Unfortunately, too often when trials come, I forget to turn to Jesus for comfort and truth resulting in joy. Instead, when they've gone on for what I feel like is too long, I get anxious and search for the way out. 

While doctors are doing their job, I need to do mine by spending more time in the Word and protecting my thoughts.

As 1 Peter 4:12-13 says, "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.  But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed."

 

ABC'S OF VICTORY

A lthough things are not perfect

B ecause of trial or pain

C ontinue in thanksgiving.

D o not begin to blame,

E ven when the times are hard.

F ierce winds are bound to blow.

G od is forever able.

H old on to what you know;

I magine life without His love,

J oy would cease to be.

K eep thanking Him for all the things

L ove imparts to thee.

M ove out of "Camp Complaining."

N o weapon that is known,

O n earth can yield the power

P raise can do alone.

Q uit looking at the future;

R edeem the time at hand;

S tart every day with worship.

T o "thank" is a command

U ntil we see Him coming

V ictorious in the sky.

W e'll run the race with gratitude;

X alting God most high.

Y es, there'll be good times and yes some will be bad, but...

Z ion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

BIBLE VERSE: Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.
(Psalm 37:5-6) 

RESPONSE: I am too blessed to be stressed! 

PRAYER: Thank You, Lord, for the encouragement I

receive from following Your ways.   

 © 2011 Open Doors International.

I needed to hear this today. Thank you Open Doors International. I hope sharing this will bless someone else.

I Humbly Open My Hand

Why is it that I am so quick to grip my fists and try to control all the elements in sight?

As Ann Voskamp says, I want to "humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control.... let go of my own way, let go of my owns fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy's fire. I want to leave the hand open and be. Be at peace."

This is the place where I experience the fullness of joy! I'm thankful for this season of health challenges, where Jesus is continually showing me to let go, release my will, accept His and experience His peace. In every area of life, on a day to day basis, I must be willing to die to my expectations and plans.

What happens when I try and gain control?

• anxiousness
• fear 
• pride

And, when I open my hand to Jesus?

• peace
• freedom 
• JOY in any circumstance
• humility 
• revelation & resolution

What a great exchange!

"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:30 

Last week was pretty incredible as Jesus led us to some revelations, possibly linking family genetics and my mom's pregnancy to some of the health symptoms I've experienced. This week I have two tests that will show my neurochemistry. One test will reveal if there's a dis-regulated brain chemistry (which is what my doctor suspects), causing a hyperactivity or suppression in my vagus nerve. The vagus nerve descends from the brain to the digestive system. A hyper activated or suppressed system can cause digestive issues and seizures. One test will also rule our a neural tumor or adrenal tumor. 

With the exception of headaches, I'm feeling great. As I go into these tests, I'm focusing on humbly opening my hand.

"Trust Me"

This morning I woke to these refreshing words trust me. Thanks for the reminder Jesus. I needed that. What a privilege it is to reflect on why I can and do trust Jesus. It's easy to skim over reasons merely as facts instead of feeling and internalizing them as God's grace. To name just a few, He came to rescue me as He promised. Though tempted, as fully human, He lived a sinless life and performed many miracles. He bore my sin on the cross and died the most painful and violent death that I should have died. Three days later He rose conquering sin and death giving me eternal life, as He promised. He sought after me. When I kept wandering aimlessly like a lost dumb sheep, He intervened in His perfect timing like the Good and Faithful Shepard He IS. He redeems, restores, forgives and gives new life. Now, that is Grace. I have EVERY reason to trust Jesus with anything and everything.

Today, I'm trusting Jesus to heal me. I believe He can, He will. But, even if He doesn't I will still love Him. I trust that His plan is better than mine. I trust and know that He uses all things for the good of those who love Him. He will use this for His glory and my good!

Friday, September 30, 2010 marked the beginning of a series of health complications. Here is the summary version. It started with a sharp and severe abdominal pain that was accompanied by a high white blood cell count and diagnosed as kidney stones and a kidney infection. The following day, I was told that the doctor misdiagnosed the kidney stones. The sharp abdominal pain moved to a dull pain and feeling of inflammation. The inflammation sometimes made it hard to breathe and caused dizziness.

Overtime the feeling of inflammation subsided but has never gone away. The dull discomfort persists, sometimes more than others. Dizziness is weekly occurrence, sometimes accompanied by fainting, chills and lethargy. 

In mid October, I started having digestive issues. Followed by severe headaches, low blood pressure, continued dizziness, frequent belching, chest pain, dehydration, trouble breathing and fainting/seizure activity.

Since September 30, I've had tests galore - kidney x-ray, abdominal ct scan, abdominal ultra sound, colonoscopy, chest x-ray, EKG and plenty of blood work. In two weeks, I'm scheduled for an abdominal and pelvic MRI and eco car diagram. As of now, we do not have any solid answers. Though we don't know the cause or cure, I have learned a lot through this process. And amazingly, by God's grace, though very challenging, it has become a joyful season. Here are some things that have helped me and might help you or someone you love.

•  I can trust Jesus. 
• JOY is possible in the midst of suffering through thanksgiving! Even those visits to the ER room or countless doctor visits can bring quality time with the person by your side. For me, it's been my Dad and husband. They keep joking "if you wanted time with us, you didn't have to go to this length" haha. Be aware of these moments and give thanks. Wherever you are, be all there. I want to slow down and taste life, give thanks and see God! As Saint John of Avila says, "one act of thanksgiving, when things go wrong with us, is worth a thousand thanks when things are agreeable to our inclinations.
• Laughter is important. For example, the frequent belching and chest pain can drive me crazy. But, my random outbursts of burps can be pretty hysterical. Take time to laugh at the little things.
• Do not fear. Do not fear. Do not fear. I can't say this enough. Satan wants to bind you in fear. He wants to blind you from seeing God's grace. Be honest with yourself and God about any fear that you have. I had convinced myself I wasn't afraid. Yet, I spent way too much time researching all the things that could be wrong with me. If you are stuck in the rut. Stop. Get out. There's a fine line between being educated and getting paranoid. It wasn't until I came to terms with my fear, confessed it and asked God to remove it that I was freed to experience his peace and give thanks for His grace.
• Accept where you. Be content. Be still. I love waking up to the words Be Still. There have been a few mornings I throw my arms in the air and say "what do you mean be still?" Urgg. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still and know that I am God". Oh, so you mean worrying or racing thoughts of how do I do this or that, go here or there is wasted space because you're working it all out and you just want me to bring it to you, be still and believe in your power and strength. One of my favorite bible verses is Philippians 4:6-7 "do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." It must be one of my favorites because I need the constant reminder.
• Patience. I must not be learning this one very well because Jesus keeps teaching me. Those test results that can take weeks to come back or weeks to schedule can feel like forever. I have to remember that Jesus does not operate in our time and space. His timing is perfect. As Isaiah 40:31 says, "But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." No more fainting? Woo Hoo. haha. Kidding. 
• Prayer. Pray for healing and believe. Jesus is our healer! Invite family and friends to pray with you. It is their joy to share in this with you. Some of the most powerful moments in this journey have been when my husband, a family member, friend or community group are praying over me. "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.” Mathew 18:20.
• When we are weak, He is strong. Accept your weakness and praise Jesus for His strength in you.
• Balance. One day at a time. This is and always have been a challenge of mine. Some days my body just needs rest. I need to listen to this and be still. There are also times for play. By God's grace, whatever is causing these symptoms has not disabled me to be active. So, when my body has the strength and energy, It's been very refreshing to enjoy time hitting the slopes snowboarding with my husband.
• Find a good doctor and be an advocate for your health care. Keep a health log. Be bold. Describe your symptoms clearly and in detail. If you have a concern, ask for the test. After three months of navigating through the health care system, where I was frustrated with the systematic approach to diagnosing surface symptoms and prescribing medications, my friend Frank informed me about Dr. John Catanzaro of Health & Wellness Institute in Mount Lake Terrace.
  
  Health and Wellness is a naturopathic medical clinic specializing in integrative medicine for the treatment of chronic illness, cancer, autoimmune disease, viral disease, metabolic and hormonal disorders, women's health, chronic neck and back pain and preventive health care. They blend traditional and natural medicine to enhance the healing of body, mind and spirit.
  
  My health care experience has completely turned around. Health and Wellness takes time to understand the entire picture. They cut the fluff. They order thorough and detailed exams to get to the source of the symptoms.The doctors committed to helping you have a full and abundant life. They become your advocate, research team and health coach. They pray for you! The doctors are led by Jesus Christ, the author, founder and perfecter of my faith. I could not ask for more. 

I have every reason to trust in Jesus. My hope is that this blog can help one person in anyway. Thank you for sharing in this journey with me.

Because of His grace,

-Sabrina